Successful Tech Founder with Traditional Values Who Respects Modern Femininity — Would You Swipe Left? (w/Michael)

What if the “cold Russian” stereotype is really just a different way of measuring trust? We sit down with Michael, a Russian-born, Israel-raised, Silicon Valley CEO and devoted dad, to unpack how culture, character, and presence shape modern dating. He brings the calm of healthy co-parenting, the thoughtfulness of real chivalry, and the focus of dating one person at a time—no performative games, no juggling six chats for weeks.

The conversation starts with divorce done right: transparent communication, shared priorities, and seeing the family like a solar system where the child remains the center. Then we move into cultural nuance: in Russia, strangers start at neutral. Smiles mean something. Gestures like paying for early dates or opening doors come from respect, not control—and Michael adapts to each woman’s comfort, choosing autonomy over rigid roles. When he reenters the dating scene, he strips away the noise of apps: quick coffee in her favorite spot, safety forward, text theater minimized.

And then there’s the story you’ll replay in your head: a third-date airport pickup with a limo costume, flowers, and a sign—bold, sweet, and fully intentional. The chemistry was instant, the romance real, and then the cracks appeared: sudden mood swings, trust inconsistencies, hot-cold communication. Michael pressed pause and distilled the lesson with precision: observe longer, define expectations, and don’t let the early rush cancel your logic. His deal breakers are clear—dishonesty, evasive communication, infidelity—while his green flag is beautifully simple: presence. Show up on time, phone down, eyes engaged.

If you care about dating with clarity, emotional maturity, and cultural intelligence, this conversation will give you practical frameworks and a renewed sense of hope. Subscribe for more grounded stories, share it with a friend who needs a reframe, and leave a quick review to help more curious daters find us.

Transcript

Meet Michael: Dad, CEO, Multicultural

Host Tea 0:01

Hey you. Welcome to The Dating Chit, a space designed to help you move beyond assumptions and guesswork so you can date and love with clarity and confidence. I'm your host, Tea. Today, my guest is Michael. He's a responsible single dad in his early 40s and runs a successful software company right here in the heart of Silicon Valley. He's tall enough, fit, and charming in his own way. Now, to clarify, he's not your typical startup bro. From what I've learned, he's a sweet, grounded, reflective, and emotionally mature. Basically, the kind of CEO you'd actually want to go on a date with. Michael was born in Russia, lived in Israel, and now lives in the US. So, yes, he speaks three languages and brings a rich multicultural perspective to relationships. He was married for a long time and now co-parents his son in a healthy, drama-free way, which is honestly refreshing. I actually met Michael through a local sports car club, we're both members of every month. The club hosts these relaxed Sunday morning meetups, coffee, breakfast, lots of car talk. And then we hit the winding roads for a fun drive. So, ladies, take note. Car club meetups, great place to meet guys. No joke. The vibe is chill, the people are nice, and the conversations are always surprisingly good. What I love about Michael is that he's thoughtful, romantic, and super intentional about dating. Oh, did I mention about his gimbals? I would just leave that there. In today's episode, we're diving into his journey. What is it like dating as a divorced dad? What a woman should know about dating Russian men. And what absolutely hilarious dating story you will not see coming. So if you've ever been curious about what a Russian men are really like in relationships, or if you are just looking for some grounded, hopeful vibes in the middle of dating chaos, this episode is for you. Let's dive in. Hi Michael. I'm so excited to have you here.

Michael 2:21

Yeah, likewise. Thanks for having me.

Host Tea 2:23

It's gonna be so much fun.

Michael 2:25

Uh well, I hope so.

Host Tea 2:26

Gonna talk about a lot of your stories about dating.

Michael 2:30

Yeah, that's exciting. Well, I'm Michael, I'm at my early 40s. Yeah, and you know, we've been dating for a while, have a lot of uh stories behind.

Host Tea 2:41

I can't wait.

Michael 2:42

Yeah, I can share some of the insights for sure. Will be interesting for for the crowd.

Host Tea 2:48

Good and bad?

Michael 2:49

All of it, all of it, yeah. Try to keep the details interesting.

Host Tea 2:54

Okay, but first of all, let's talk about where you are at your life right now.

Michael 2:58

I'm pretty much acing it at this point. You know, You're divorced? Yeah, I'm divorced. Yeah, I'm running a business, I have a kid, and yeah, I'm pretty much doing what I always wanted to do.

Host Tea 3:10

I remember you have a son, he's 10 years old.

Michael 3:14

Yeah.

Host Tea 3:14

Okay, cool. I got the details correct.

Michael 3:17

Yeah. He's literally like like my friend at this point. You know, just a dude, and you know, we like to hang out. So it's no longer something that I constantly require paying attention to as he was small. Now he's just you know doing his own stuff and I'll out there if he needs me or not.

Host Tea 3:37

Oh cool. So you're not stressed or feeling anxious about the responsibility of being dad.

Michael 3:43

I mean, responsibility is not going anywhere, but I think it's more a longer investment at this point where I'm there's more conversations now with him, but he's grown on his own. So that's the difference than I think than what it felt before. That was him he was much more demanding.

Host Tea 4:01

Okay, so is that why you're ready for going back to the dating again?

Michael 4:07

Well, I'm constantly on Outlook for the right person. So that's why it's something that it's always on the top of my mind. But looking actively, yes, it has pros and cons, of course. When you're actually trying to sometimes trying too hard doesn't bring good results.

Host Tea 4:24

We can talk more about that.

Michael 4:26

Yeah, you kind of need to relax in many cases.

Host Tea 4:28

When we're talking about your stories, sure, sure. How long have you been divorced? Like how long have you been dating?

Michael 4:35

So I've been divorced for two half years at this point, a little bit more dating, probably about two years. Definitely took me a while to kind of get into the sense of what do I want and what's happening with my life. Took me a good half a year, maybe a little bit more even. It's not something that it's easy, especially after many years of marriage. Yeah. Yeah, and I was exclusively with one person for a long time. So that that separation, you know, it takes a hit on you too. So you kind of what what is my purpose? Who am I in this whole world? You need to rethink your values and your priorities.

Host Tea 5:16

Actually, before we dive further in about your dating story, I like just to talk about your divorce just for a couple of minutes, because we talked about that before. You said you're in a good relationship with your ex and she just lived on the same block, right?

Michael 5:31

Right.

Co-Parenting Peacefully After Divorce

Host Tea 5:32

Yeah. And I know people, I know my friends. A lot of people are divorced these days and they don't have a great relationship with their ex. So maybe this is a good moment to like just share how you did that and what's your advice to divorced people. I think it's important to have a good relationship with your ex for the kids, you know?

Michael 5:53

Yeah, okay. So I think two cases here, if you have kids or not, right? Yeah. Obviously, you want to make peace with the world in general. Like if that's my outlook. Yeah. I want to part ways with people on the good terms in general. I don't like to keep anything in on in my head that I just I don't need this. So when you all have kids, I think it's much easier because it's just, you know, you have two lives that just part. When you do have kids, it's not over, right? So when you part ways, there's actually those projects as your kids, they're they're there. So in a way, if you think of the family as a planetary system, so kids would be somewhat the center of that because the parents, their attention changes quite a bit the way they apply and they invest their their energy changes a lot when the kids arrive. So when we split, it's the same thing. That system stays. So I think that realization of that is very important. So making sure that you're on the same page with a partner about this, and I think there's no better way than just talking about it.

Host Tea 7:01

A lot of other couples can't do it.

Michael 7:02

Yeah, I think when you cross the moment when you can't talk to each other in a reliable way, there's just communication fades, then it's of course it's a problem, right? There's just maybe too much anger, too much hate, too much things that you keep against your partner, and then they become, I don't know, sort of enemies. So didn't happen to me. And I didn't feel there was anything like this. For me, the relationship just they were like the romantic part just was just over. It just came to an end. And none of us wanted to continue it. So logically, everything made sense, and then we could talk through all the all the situations and how we're gonna treat the kid and how we're gonna make sure that you know he gets the attention he needs, and he doesn't try to manipulate us because it's so easy to say some, hey mom said that, and maybe you can you can allow me to do something, or or and so forth. So that kind of maintain that transparency is important. So I think that that's the main advance. If you can talk, yeah, start talking and you know, figure out that how it's gonna work long term.

Host Tea 8:08

And also, we forgot to mention about your background, because where we're speaking right now, you have an accent, right?

Michael 8:15

Yes, yeah, do you have accent? It's yeah, I was uh born and raised in Russia, that's why my accent is there. That's kind of another cultural layer of me. So when when living in the United States, it's obviously I see how there's a mix of cultures and I bring my own.

Host Tea 8:33

You're a Russian and you speak a couple other languages?

Michael 8:36

Yeah, I also lived in Israel for a while, so that's another layer of my of my past. So I bring that part also to the table.

Host Tea 8:46

So how much percentage of you do you feel being Russian right now?

Michael 8:51

I think it's still my native language. I still sometimes. Like Culture-wise. Culture wise I think it's it's a lot. It's probably about 40%, I would say. And the other 60% is? And that's like the mix of of everything else that that I'm collecting. So I'm I'm less Russian, yes, and this will like American Israeli, you know, the European influence. Um, I kind of picked on what how other cultures behave.

Host Tea 9:17

And so it's really So you're saying you're 40% Russian. what about the American? How much percentage there is?

Michael 9:24

Yeah, well, what is American, right? It's always a good question.

Host Tea 9:28

How much do you feel like being American?

Michael 9:31

I think I'm like probably about 30% American and then 30% Israeli. That would be a fair first split. Okay, cool. Maybe I'll leave a few percent for like unknown. Because I do like how you know different.

Host Tea 9:44

You are slightly more Russian still in your core.

Michael 9:46

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure.

Host Tea 9:47

Yeah, so I never went out with a Russian guy, so I really have no clue about how Russian guys are typically. So please tell us more about how Russian men generally are and how you are.

Michael 10:01

Okay, let's maybe a fundamental thing about Russian culture in general.

Host Tea 10:05

Great.

Michael 10:06

Is that's what a lot of misconceptions are coming from often.

Host Tea 10:10

I'd love to know that.

Michael 10:11

Yeah, for example, like people say, Oh, Russians are so cold. And like, we're not really cold, we just assume you're not friendly.

Host Tea 10:19

Your language is like super harsh, right? Maybe, maybe.

Michael 10:23

It doesn't sound harsh to me, but it's like we don't assume friends by definition. Like, you know, I see a person on the street, I don't assume he's a friend. So my my perception is that that's not a friendly person, that the person is at what let's say zero balance of my relation, or maybe even negative if he doesn't.

Host Tea 10:39

I mean, I don't assume anybody walking down the street is gonna be my friend. I'm the same way.

Michael 10:44

Well, what I noticed here in the United States, for example, a lot of people they kind of they assume you did nothing wrong, so they will perceive you as more of a friendly person. So if you come over and say, hey, can you help me like sure somebody will help you? That's not necessarily the case in uh in Russia where I grew up. The assumption would be, yeah, I mean, that's a person, and I have nothing positive to say about it. That's why we don't really smile to other people. Really?

Host Tea 11:07

So you're saying if your car broke down on the side of highway, in Russia, no one else would like see it and I wouldn't say no one else.

Michael 11:16

I think that there's like extreme versions, but unlikely, less likely that somebody will stop.

Host Tea 11:21

I see. Wow, that's interesting.

How Russian Culture Shapes Dating

Michael 11:24

Yeah, but I think it's more like in a social scenario, too. So yeah, just in like approaching people, you would say, okay, they again they won't intentionally smile at you. That's the thing. Like if somebody smiles at you, that's it. You would might interpret it as okay, I think uh there's something between us, which it's not necessarily the case here. So that's why I might misinterpret the signals of other people here, other women sometimes.

Host Tea 11:48

So should I say that Russian people generally would take a lot more time and practices for you to trust each other, and then you would do anything for each other, type of thing.

Michael 12:00

So I think it's fair to say is that you kind of need to earn the respect first, and then you being treated as a friend. Then you immediately get into the friend zone, very close right away. Okay, there's no also like, oh, he's like you're an acquaintance. No, this Russian are friendly once you earn that respect, they take you very close.

Host Tea 12:18

Okay, so let's talk about just Russian men in general, in terms in the setting of relationship, like how Russian men are when they treat a woman, you know, or how they select their wives.

Michael 12:29

There's also expectation, a certain expectation in the society. So when Russian men can go out with women, they they usually would be paying for a lot of, you know, whatever, the first date and the second day, and so forth. Like a lot of expenses.

Host Tea 12:41

They're always paying.

Michael 12:42

Yeah. Yeah. That's expected, or like, you know, maybe like buying gifts and so forth. So they they are the ones who are rings, just being a provider. Yeah. That's expected. I think it's also expected to be like that's kind of comes from the gentleman past, you know, like opening the doors and you know, yeah, like providing a hand, or like kind of support, or like, hey, let me help hold your bag, all kinds of things that like very much expected.

Host Tea 13:07

There's a lot of guys who don't like to hold bags.

Michael 13:10

No, I know, I know. It's it or neither open doors, right? I know. Why would you touch a door?

Host Tea 13:15

It's like, okay, yeah, it's messed up these days. Yeah. Guys are afraid of open doors for women.

Michael 13:22

But I give you an example. Like you stop the car in Russia, you're the driver, okay, and then you see you have a let's say a girl, a woman in on your front seat. So you stop the car, you go around the car, you open the door, you let her out and give her the hand to get out, and then you close the door. So that's very much expected. I haven't seen this happening here too much. Yeah, that's very different. Yeah.

Host Tea 13:43

But there are still people in America. Of course, of course.

Michael 13:46

That's why I don't like to generalize completely say everyone, or is that, it's not. How about you?

Host Tea 13:51

Let's talk about you. Are you that way? No, I don't, look, You don't open doors?

Michael 13:55

No, no, no, no. I don't do it always because I try to sense what's the expectation of the person. If I see that, you know, a girl that I'm dating, she's more active, she's trying to take the active role pretty quickly. I'm like, I let her do that. I do very much appreciate the the freedom of a person way more than providing or showing the exact same certain pattern of behavior.

Host Tea 14:18

There are two types of women. One type person like me, we value that, we appreciate that type of gesture, you know, being gentlemen, open doors. And there's another type of woman that they do not like to be taken care of in that way. And nor they like to, when they go out to dinner with a guy on date, they rather split the bill, right? So that's the other type of woman, type B. So would you date both of these types or yeah, I don't think there's anything wrong with either pattern.

Michael 14:49

I mean, as long as you're okay with that. I think when you're in a relationship, both people have to be comfortable. I think the worst thing people can do is to be pretending, or they kind of they're trying to impress another person. Well, we all try to impress, like we're in an interview a first time, meeting each other, we will try to impress each other in some way. I like when people being real, I constantly trying to suppress myself, trying to pretend or do any show-off kind of things that no, like I try to come as real as I can. Yeah, that's the best way, which solves a lot of problems. It saves you time, it saves time for the person, and then I think fundamentally it comes from the respect. If you respect yourself, you also would respect society, and then you set the expectation. I'm real, I'm transparent with you, and you give everything, not necessarily directly, but you give the you show your qualities as they are. Uh so to your question, yes, I would accept both behaviors if I like that mindset. That partner is comfortable. That's what I was like, I'm trying to sense like what kind of woman it is near me in. Yeah, just follow that. So not necessarily gonna open the door if I see her immediately opening the door of my car. Sure, that's uh I was like, let me drive. Sure, you can drive, I don't mind.

Host Tea 16:09

So as we were talking about earlier about the Russian man, yeah, they act still like acting in traditional role as provider. So are you also like that?

Michael 16:19

I can be like that, yeah. I don't mind. I mean, there's always a level I like that, yeah. I like to have a person being comfortable. So then that that's if I can deliver that level of comfort, that would be great pleasure for me, of course.

Host Tea 16:34

I'm sure there are plenty of women out there who would appreciate that.

Michael 16:37

I presume so, yes.

Host Tea 16:39

It's okay, awesome. So now I'm sure everyone here would love to hear your dating stories for the past couple of years, what's been going on, how it's like to be out there after your divorce.

Michael 16:54

So there was a lot of learning for me about how does this even unravel in the modern world. When I say modern world, meaning mobile world, meaning meaning texting, meaning whatever, all everything that goes, you know, the ghosting and all that stuff. Like I haven't been exposed to that. So I when I dated, it was always through some kind of real, real life experience. It's either someone's birthday or a party or some kind of other gathering, and I would meet a person and whatever, we would just talk. If it clicks, great. If it doesn't, you just yeah, you go live your life. that there was no exp I mean, I never never tried to have like an explicit setup for dating. So I think that was that's the fundamentally one new thing for me, which I decided to try. It's like, okay, there's the dating apps, how does it work? So I downloaded that, several apps.

Host Tea 17:49

So you just be on dating apps and try to date?

Chivalry, Expectations, And Flexibility

Michael 17:51

That was one of the ways, of course. And that was again a lot of learning experience went into that because you would expect specific communication to be maintained, but then there's nothing like that. I've seen several TikToks which were pretty funny. It's like, okay, what does it mean to date in whatever 2024, 2025? And then it's like I see a happy person running towards your door, you open the door, and then a poop person disappears. This is how it felt sometimes. You would connect, you would match, you would exchange a couple messages, and it seems positive, and then people just unmatch.

Host Tea 18:24

Okay, tell us about some interesting dating experience you had.

Michael 18:28

So you match or unmatch and something, and sometimes people are being extremely direct with their questions. They're like, hi, hi, and I'm like, How much do you earn? You're like, wow, that's an interesting question. Boom, unmatch. So there's a lot of you don't even expect those kind of levels of questions, or they would ask, like, you know, you stated you have a kid, I want to know more about your luggage. Sorry.

Host Tea 18:51

Baggage.

Michael 18:52

Yeah, I don't remember even that baggage or luggage, either way, it's a bad I didn't like the formulation of it. So I'm asking, I like I'm not following why do you want to frame it like this? But I can of course tell you, unmatch. So there's a lot of they were unmatching, yeah. They wouldn't match me. I'm like, yeah, I'm trying to I'm trying to have some conversation. I'm being very polite. I'm not there's nothing I'm trying to offend. I'm trying to get some clarification, why is that? So it took me a bit of a learning to quite a bit actually, to be able to filter out those people quicker.

Host Tea 19:25

Yeah.

Michael 19:26

Because it's also painful for me, and then it leaves just a lot of unknown questions. And I think so negative, right? One of the yeah, one of the rookie mistakes that everyone could do in this situation would be like, oh, it's me. It's something wrong with me. Maybe it's something's wrong with you, of course, but most likely there's just a lot of context that you just don't see, especially when person just like terminates the conversation uh so abruptly. So that was at the beginning pretty painful, but then I just I was very fine, like I was good with it. It's like, okay, people are matched, they they have something going on, maybe there's even bots. Some of them were potentially not real people because there are a lot of also bad players in the in those like matching networks. They're trying to match, they get your phone, maybe they will try to get some advantage of you. Didn't happen to me, but you can read the FAQ and a lot of those dating apps.

Host Tea 20:17

I mean, dating apps, there's lots going on there, yes. Yeah, so so that's primarily the There's uh and people can't trust each other on dating apps. Is that your experience?

Michael 20:28

I'm okay trusting people. I didn't have that. It didn't take me to the level with time when I became untrustful. Because I'm genuinely I can trust people. I don't have a problem with that.

Host Tea 20:38

So you'll be totally okay just go out and meet a person without doing any video calls.

Michael 20:44

Yeah. So this is eventually was my method. After all the match on match, call on call, let's text, no, nothing. I'm like, let's meet for a coffee. That was my matching text. So if I if people match, they immediately get a text that says, hey, great, great to match. I would love if we could just skip all that and you know, just get a coffee at the place of your choosing.

Host Tea 21:08

That's very nice of you.

Michael 21:09

Yeah, so they will be comfortable to be at the place, like your favorite place. Show me your favorite coffee shop, show me your favorite bakery.

Host Tea 21:15

You're so sweet.

Michael 21:16

I want to people feel comfortable, to women to feel comfortable, like that they're in a safe place.

Host Tea 21:21

I'm telling you, there are not many men on the dating apps who think like you.

Michael 21:27

Okay, well, yeah, maybe that should be more, I don't know, advertised better, like as a suggested protocol for dating.

Host Tea 21:35

No, people are just different. Some men just being selfish, you know, or they just don't care.

Michael 21:39

Yeah, so that's that's a problem.

Host Tea 21:41

Yeah.

Michael 21:42

I don't know what to tell about being selfish or don't care. If you don't care, you can't be in a in any relationship then. Like, how can you be what are you then looking for? Like a one-night stand, I suppose. Yeah, I think the goals are important, like coming up with the correct outlook on what are you looking for. So that actually worked well.

Host Tea 22:01

What kind of woman will be attracting to you?

Michael 22:04

That's that's a long answer for this.

Host Tea 22:07

So three words.

Michael 22:09

I think smart women, that's for sure, athletic, and, somebody who is not afraid to live the life, you know, they're just not afraid of obstacles and someone brave, intelligent, and uh adventurous and in a good way. You know, they're they're not holding back. Yeah. I mean there's a lot of things that kind of go out of this. And you can see when you see them uh in person, you can tell a lot of things very quickly, you know.

Host Tea 22:36

What are the top three qualities about a woman that matters to you? That you must have them in them to be able to be your partner.

Reentering Dating Apps And Reality

Michael 22:45

It intersects also with a lot of generally men and or women and men, you know, first probably is honesty. And it's not honesty just with you, it's honesty with yourself. A person must be completely honest with who they are, what they want. They need to figure things out. I cannot help with that. I can maybe reflect some of the things back.

Host Tea 23:08

I like that, honesty. Yeah.

Michael 23:10

They need to be like really like, okay, I want kids, yes or no? I want a long-term notion, yes or no. Like decide. I know it's difficult, but you need to pick. There's something that there's things that you need to be really clear with yourself.

Host Tea 23:26

Okay, what about the other two qualities?

Michael 23:28

So honesty for sure. Now, as I said, kind of more adventurous spirit person who was wanting to live the life to the full. And I think that can be summarized as somebody who is not afraid of failure. It's a person who is willing to go out of the comfort zone. They're not necessarily an achiever or overachiever, but they're determined and they can move forward with life. I think not being afraid to move forward, because you know, you you can expect for sure there will be some downs in life. You don't know when, but you can be afraid of them by sitting in a comfort zone. So you need to be okay with you know some things to be over, some things to be not good, being able to fix them.

Host Tea 24:10

Have ability to face challenges in life.

Michael 24:12

Yeah, yeah. I think that that would be good. I mean, there's also like there's also some baselines, of course, uh beyond the the top. I want to say the third one would probably like be communication, but it's emotional intelligence.

Host Tea 24:25

Would you say that?

Michael 24:26

I would say that, but it's not a quality, it's really like a pack of things. Communication is kind of I want to put it as a zero, like a quality zero. You must have it. If a person doesn't want to communicate, it goes to the honesty, you can fold it into honesty. Which in a way also follows the second one, right? It's like you know, not being afraid of failure and kind of you know getting out of comfort zone. But the third one is probably a good ability to learn, be perceptive to a change that um adaptive to life. Yeah, because we change as we go, and then people who are extremely conservative with their opinions, there's some things that you of course need to keep, right? Your values and but based on your values, you need to set the priorities and uh be constantly re-evaluating your values. They're not, they're not the same, they're not sealed in stone. Yeah, because we're evolving, right? Situation changes, situation changes, you're growing. Yeah.

Host Tea 25:27

Yeah. These are really important qualities to be able to like be a good partner and to be supportive.

Michael 25:34

Yeah, because my focus is - it's a long-term. I'm not here to entertain short-term fun, which did happen to me as well, because I was also trying to figure out things. I do definitely value more long-term connection with a person. When you invest in a person, you get a lot of investment back. And it's like it's not like one plus one is two. Okay. One plus one is definitely more than two in relationship.

Host Tea 26:02

So, would you like to tell us about one story about your dating experiences?

Michael 26:07

Sure. I think it's definitely was, it was quite recent, and this was definitely one that gave me very fresh perspective on like I didn't anticipate how deceptive people can be. Oh, really?

Host Tea 26:20

So this is a bad experience.

Michael 26:22

This is definitely a bad experience. I mean, okay, even a bad experience is a good experience because now I know what can happen.

Host Tea 26:29

Every experience is a learning experience.

Michael 26:30

So I'm healed of this at this point. So I'm I'm okay with actually talking about this, but it was painful in the moment. Oh and it was also very passionate. You met this person online on the apps, okay. This person, okay, so yeah, let's just... details: I met this person online, so we met, and then the meeting with which was supposed to be just you know, just like a bit of a walk, maybe with a snack or something, became a dinner, and then which then went for four hours.

Host Tea 26:57

Sounds so nice.

Michael 26:57

Yeah, we hit right away. There was a lot of cultural match. Where is she from? She's also from Russia.

Host Tea 27:03

Ah, okay. But you don't only date Russian.

Michael 27:05

No, no, no, no, no. Yeah, no, that it so happened because actually both of us had English names on the dating app. We communicated in English, and when we met, I'm like, okay, you speak Russian. She says, Yeah, you speak.

Host Tea 27:18

You didn't know she was a Russian.

Michael 27:19

No, we didn't call each other, we didn't the the photographs, they're not, you don't see a Russian girl. It's you know, she hasn't been in Russia for a long time, so she's not looking like a Russian. You might you she might think, okay, she's might be like, I don't know, Slovenian or or Romanian, even. I don't know. So having said that, you know, it was was perfect. So the the the initial day was was really good. Um and we started dating really quickly, so it was just like, hey, let's meet again.

Host Tea 27:48

Oh really?

Michael 27:48

Yeah, let's meet again. Okay, what are you doing tomorrow? I'm like, I don't know, I can find some time tomorrow.

Host Tea 27:54

Oh wow, I love that. So when a man is interested in a woman, they will ask out for a second date right away on the same spot.

Michael 28:01

Yeah, there's no ghost, like again, I love it. You being real, like if you're real, if you if you have it, you have the smell right, you have the the looks right, I think as a man, you go right away. I mean, I did read a research about how quickly men decide. Yeah, and on average it takes them three minutes. Some people even say, well, it takes me like 15 seconds. Well, because it's okay. 15 seconds is a bit of an extreme, but it's it's very quick. For for women in the same research, it takes way longer.

Host Tea 28:34

So because what's the data say about women?

Filters, Ghosting, And Safety

Michael 28:36

Okay, so the theory in that research was that women looking for a perspective and how much a man can grow over time, what can they achieve? Not what they're right now, but who they will become in whatever, five, ten years. Assuming we've all we're all assuming that here, you know, we're talking about intelligent people, that's in in a way already self-realized. Yeah, so that research definitely, I mean, I appreciated it because I feel sometimes I decide too quickly. So I need to actually know you need to open your eyes more and be more perceptive to what kind of person there is. So we decided on to go on a second date. It was like, okay, perfect, let's meet, and you know, it was was unraveling really quickly. So we went on a second date, and it was just a lot of I don't know, chemistry of a sort. You can call it chemistry.

Host Tea 29:25

That's awesome.

Michael 29:26

It's not like we were drinking or anything, but it was just walking and talking, and you connected. Yeah, at some point we we kind of touched each other's hands and hugged, and then so it everything started happening. It was very natural, did you kiss a natural attraction? yeah, we did. Oh, that's nice, yeah. And then we just couldn't stop kissing, right? It was just really like very attractive. Yeah. And then we had this like moment where I think it was like a good moment, right? We just parted ways for a little bit. She had to after a second day. She had a flight, she used to take you know, like a week and a half work-related travel. And then I was with my kid, of course, which she didn't even like we we kinda didn't ask, talk about this. I mean, she knew I had a kid, it's on my profile, but again, it wasn't so I had to spend a week with him because we do 50-50 with my ex-wife. So we didn't see each other for two weeks, the way it overlapped. And then but we were texting all the time and just were keeping in contact more or less once every few days. So I was like, okay, I'll, you know, what when is your flight? So I was like, what do you mean? Like, what's what's your flight number?

Host Tea 30:37

Oh, you want to go pick her up?

Michael 30:38

Yeah, so she sent you your flight number, and then it was just it became such a fun story because she was her flight was like keeping delayed and changed, so she kept communicating with me like what's happening with her flight.

Host Tea 30:51

And you felt weird?

Michael 30:52

No, it didn't feel, it felt like very close, you know, as if like as if you were already with your friend.

Host Tea 30:58

So you were just thinking about to pick her up and yeah, I was like, so it was a lot of jokes.

Michael 31:03

Like, what are you gonna do? I'm like, I don't know, don't worry, you will be taken care of. I wasn't even I wasn't even saying it's gonna be me. And I did the whole plan of like, okay, I'm gonna get the Limo and we're gonna get like you know mariachi band, and then they will just meet her, play her, like a com like get her to the limo. In limo, there will be like a flowers, just like you know, make a serious return. I'm totally serious. Oh, I'm totally serious. I'm like, I'm just gonna do the whole like shebang of the on a third date.

Host Tea 31:31

That's the like third time to meet.

Michael 31:33

Yeah, I wouldn't even be there, it would be like all ordered, just for the fun of it. Oh my god. So I was like, you know, I was just like jokingly saying that to her, and she's like, This is crazy. I well, not everything.

Host Tea 31:45

Oh my god, you literally is the most romantic man I have met in a million years.

Michael 31:50

I was just , I don't know, it kind of was, I think, a flow that you get into the flow, you get high beat on your feelings.

Host Tea 31:58

That's amazing. That would be like such a nice surprise. Sure, like falling in love with you right there. Oh my god.

Michael 32:07

The flight keep move kept moving, so it was like it was delayed by Michael.

Host Tea 32:11

I did not see this coming. I did not know you're so romantic.

Michael 32:15

I can be romantic for the right person, yeah, yeah, yeah. And what ultimately happened is that it's the limo was rescheduled. You arranged. Oh, I did, I did.

Host Tea 32:27

Oh my god.

Michael 32:28

No, it was it was, and they're like, we can't get flowers. Like, how can you get not get flowers? Should I do Doordash also? And you meet the Doordash guy?

Host Tea 32:36

I was like, This you were like a left or right on your phone.

Michael 32:39

Operation, the ground operation. At the end, I canceled the band. Uh-huh. It's like, okay, no band.

unknown 32:46

Yeah.

Host Tea 32:47

Limo flower band. Oh my.

Michael 32:49

And I arrived myself, but then I was like, okay, I need to suit up. So I put like a limo I put a suit of a limo driver with with a beard. I put like a beard on. So funny. And then I had the flowers, and then I printed like a I printed a sign with your name, and it's like, you know, for the most beautiful girl, and that's your name. I was standing there, and then yeah, when she came out, she was absolutely shocked. It was really crazy cool.

Host Tea 33:16

So, what happened after you told me the story is supposed to be a bad experience?

Michael 33:20

No, it's gonna get bad, of course. I don't know how much time do we have. Maybe we'll need a second episode on this.

Host Tea 33:25

Oh my, that's crazy. Keep going.

Michael 33:28

No, it was very exciting. Like we started like meet seeing each other often. You know, I would stay at your place, she'll stay at my place, you know.

Host Tea 33:36

Wow, so you went around for a while. Yeah, yeah. It was it was You had a relationship with her. Yeah. For how long?

Michael 33:43

Oh well, so here, uh I think for about in total for two months.

Host Tea 33:47

Oh wow, you just keep surprising people.

Michael 33:49

But the the last two the last two weeks, they were like they just went south. It was just like because something felt a little bit weird, like it kind of started to feel weird.

Host Tea 33:59

But wait, just keep going with your story.

Michael 34:01

Okay, yeah, we became very close. It was like, hey, let's do that. So we'll start doing like different things. What when is your birthday? I was like, that's like my birthday is like whatever that month. I'm like, okay, let's go let's go skiing, for example.

Host Tea 34:13

She's like, her birthday.

Michael 34:14

Yeah, I was like, awesome, I'll do that. It'll just like start arranging the skiing thing. When is your birthday? It's like it's in that like okay, let's do let's go to Florida. I know, and she's like, I know somebody in Florida who like she's also like very into it, yeah.

Host Tea 34:26

Yeah, she's very like adventurous, like you know, and also just her feelings also very genuine, I would say.

Values: Honesty, Courage, Adaptability

Michael 34:32

Yeah, it felt that way. It felt... I think in the moment it felt like really... it has to be genuine to be like... I don't think she was I don't think there was any fake in that thing. I see. I think there's also yeah, I'm not, I don't want to diagnose anything, but there was something that just there was like what is this? And it's there were like there was moments, there's things like they went like weird. Like I'll give you some ideas. At some point, like there's just like probably one of the things t happened. We were like waking up in the morning and she was like, I don't feel good since yesterday. I'm like, Yeah, okay, it's fine. Like when you told me, like, and you know, maybe you should schedule like a visit to a doc, you know. She's like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll do that. And we're like, you know, I'm preparing the breakfast, like I wouldn't wait for breakfast. She tells me she wants breakfast, and then the next one's like, I see her like packing up and like, what are you doing? I'm like, I'm going to a gym. Like, how are you going to do it? You don't feel good? You want to go to a doc? I'm like, no, no, I actually decide I want to go to the gym. I'm like, okay. And then and she's like, okay, hurry up. I'm like, what do you want me to do? I'm like, I'm literally like, you know, in my underwear in the kitchen, like making breakfast and coffee, and like I have frying eggs. She's like, no, hurry up, let's go. I'm like, sorry, can I stay? She's like, no. Oh my god. I'm like, okay, can you leave me the keys? And then she's just like explodes:" I don't trust you enough. What do you expect me to give you the keys? How do you even? I don't know you". You're at her place? Yeah, I'm at her place. This is like week four. I stayed there for like 20 times already. I'm like, and I'm like, I'm not just dropping it. I'm like, what do you mean you don't trust me? Like here, this is me. Like we were doing all kinds of stuff. Like, it's not, it's you know, it's not like you know me for 10 minutes here. I don't, I can't, I and then she's just like, here's like it's maybe like some trauma that she had. I don't know. Again, don't. okay. I don't want to. I'm like, okay. Anyway, I'm like, okay, let's fine. You know, I'm like, fine, I'm good. Yeah, I turn on everything, turn off everything, like you know, just u n fried eggs. I like put on my clothes, like, okay, let's go. Where are we going? No, she's going to a gym. I'm going home. Yeah, that's it. So we get now. She called she runs, she runs out to the gym. I'm like, okay, you know, fine. Then we kind of like talk after the gym. She's out, and then she calls me. It was such a weird conversation because her angle was she kept like being very emotional, but she says, like, I don't feel comfortable to be so unpolite with people. I'm a good host. I just didn't like the way it works. I didn't want it to kick you out, of course. I'm really sorry about that. I'm like, no, you are completely missing the point. Where's the trust? Like, I and I think we had some level of trust that we accumulated, you know, with all the sex we were having and like, you know, everything that going on that you were suddenly something like something that again, I don't know what was it, the swing happened, and to me it was like, I don't know, okay, this is weird. And that was probably the the weird part that kind of like the main weird part that started happening, and then those swings they were like happening more often, I think. Maybe she entered the period of that state of mind of hers, so it's like similar type awareness, yeah. And so she would be like uh crying and crazy in that sense, and even it's like let's meet, and she's all like normal, and then we would talk and she would like be all we would hanging out and everything.

Host Tea 38:04

I would not be able to handle that.

Michael 38:06

Like, no, I'm I was like, maybe it's like I don't know, it was a lot of maybes, it was not it's like she's constantly on period, yeah. No, but like a very strong period, like with a weird twist, with a really weird twist, super strong period, and then we spend the night together, and then we're like, okay, I'm going to work, she's going to work, but then I and then I text her in the middle of the day, hey, what do you what would you like for lunch? And it's like no response. Okay, I'll just order you something, and I'll just order. And she's like, Stop texting me, I'm working. It's like exclamation marks. I'm like, what is the hell on earth is going on?

Host Tea 38:40

That's so weird.

Michael 38:42

so I'm like, okay, not texting you, not nothing.

Host Tea 38:45

So what do you think that is? Did you have a conversation with her?

Michael 38:49

I did.

Host Tea 38:50

Uh-huh.

Michael 38:51

She doesn't see it.

Host Tea 38:53

So she has no self-awareness, and nor she wants to communicate with you?

Michael 38:56

She would communicate, but she would say, Well, it was, you know, it was just bad timing, and you were like, you don't understand it.

Host Tea 39:04

That's why I want to ask questions, right?

Michael 39:07

Yeah, her point was always you're hearing me. I'm like, Yeah, I'm hearing you, but you're not listening. I'm like, what am I not listening to? I think it's very normal to a person to ask how you're doing and send you whatever. Well, order you lunch, and you don't reply, so I order you two lunches and you can pick. And if you don't like you, give the other one to your colleague.

Host Tea 39:25

You did that too?

Michael 39:26

Many times.

Host Tea 39:27

You're so consistent.

Michael 39:28

I don't mind. I like I really want people to feel comfortable. And for her it will be.

Host Tea 39:35

You keep shocking me with your niceness. Oh my.

Michael 39:39

I think like my view is always like if you wanna like express whatever your feelings about person or like you fall in love. Yeah, I did, of course. Oh my so you do those things for personal several things, several ways to express. You are, of course, but you know, physically, uh emotionally, you would support a person, you would call a person. So you'd also have some expectation that maybe you know you can have a morning call, evening call, right? And that was like extremely sporadic. So she would be like hanging out, uh also hanging up on me, or or versus she would call me and like burst in some tears some at some point. I didn't like how this extremely emotional behavior happened after seemingly quiet time.

Host Tea 40:30

Okay. What happened after?

The Limo Love Story Begins

Michael 40:32

So those swings were very rapid and they were more frequent. So I had days where I would meet her for yeah, it's like I was telling like I would spend the night with her, and then in the morning this, and then in the midday that, some texting, and then in the evening she would be like not happy. So those swings are really, you know, taking a toll on me as well. So I thought I said, okay, I need to pause this. And I had a conversation with her about this, and like, I don't know what's going on with you. You not don't want to talk about this. Like, I can't help you.

Host Tea 41:10

You were mentioning she was being deceptive.

Michael 41:12

Yeah, because I think maybe she was trying and making an effort to be, let's put this more of a normal person, present yourself in the beginning, and then she maybe uh give give it more loss to how she really is.

Host Tea 41:26

Oh.

Michael 41:27

Tha t to me, this is deceptive.

Host Tea 41:30

Oh, maybe she just she has been just who she is the whole time. She falls in love with you, but however, she has a personality. What do you call that? There are bipolars out there, you show different type personality. So she may have some issues on that one, but doesn't mean she's being deceptive.

Michael 41:49

It was deceptive for me, I would say.

Host Tea 41:51

You felt you felt deceptive. Absolutely, yeah. Yeah, I understand that. All right, yeah, that's at least you fall in love.

Michael 41:58

I did, and I did a lot of foolish things, and I think again.

Host Tea 42:02

Come on! That's so nice: giving and loving somebody - that experience.

Michael 42:07

Yeah, like I have no regrets in that regard. I mean, I'm actually super thankful. Why? Because it ended, it didn't go for years like this. Yeah. Right? So, like in every separation like this, everyone should be super happy. Like, it's over, everyone's happy, everyone's free again, in a way that they can now reflect on the experience, figure out where the screw ups were. For me, the screw up was that you know, I shouldn't have been so maybe direct and expect so much from a person, which you need to observe a person over the period of time. It's not like, oh yeah, I've seen a person too.

Host Tea 42:44

What two months time? Yeah. Yeah. So you went out for two months and you broke up.

Michael 42:48

Yeah.

Host Tea 42:49

All right. So what has this experience taught you and what have you learned?

Michael 42:54

Yeah, so as I mentioned, maybe taking more time to observe a person, they would reveal themselves eventually, right?

Host Tea 43:01

In terms of selecting your partner.

Michael 43:03

When you combine the logical and illogical, right, and when you combine the logic and the feelings, they go against each other. Because when you feel something, you you you just remove the logic from it. But if you become too logical, you become too boring to another person.

Host Tea 43:19

Okay, here's another question. What are some deal breakers for you?

Michael 43:23

Well, definitely not being communicative or like being communication needs to be structured in some way. Like if some person kind of, oh, I don't like you to be calling me in the middle of the day or texting me, say it. It's fine. Just say it. If it's not pronounced, the expectation is, yeah, maybe, yes, no.

Host Tea 43:42

What else?

Michael 43:43

Dishonest. Like if if person that they're kind of not trying to be. Okay.

Host Tea 43:48

So what is one thing about a girl that is just so well?

Michael 43:54

It's easy, right? It's like cheating, right? It's like if if a girl cheats on you, that's is that a Russian?

Host Tea 44:00

Is that you being Russian right now?

Michael 44:01

Yeah, well, you know, I don't know if it's actually loyalty is very important to Russians. Something very common, not common, but I learned it here to also through dating. Like, oh, uh, there's a question, like, are we exclusive? Oh my god. I'm like, what is what is that? Oh, I want to know if we're exc if we're in the moment of like I've been asked when we're exclusive. Like, of course we're exclusive. Like I'm dating one person at a time. There's no dating, dating six women in parallel. It's like you cannot do that emotion. You cannot even invest yourself.

Host Tea 44:34

Yeah, it's true. And also, I agree, like if uh dating one person is actually a grace for yourself, like you're gaining by investing, you're focused, and then only by diving in that one relationship with one woman 100%, like you can get to know somebody.

Michael 44:50

Otherwise, you're not genuine. That's true. No, you're not. You're not you're not gonna be able to do that.

Host Tea 44:53

Also, it's hard to get to know a person like that, right?

Michael 44:55

Yeah, you just stay too surfaced, right? Like the person will tell you will tell you a history. By the way, I had a really really interesting screw up once, which was which was pretty funny. I was like a fun story. I was really tired, and then uh it was just like really, really tired. I met somebody for a coffee one morning, it wasn't good, and then the next morning I had another coffee.

Host Tea 45:21

Coffee date.

Michael 45:22

Yeah, it was a first first date. That there's like there's no attachment in there, and then in my mind it's kind of like mixed up, and then I thought, anyway, I just like said, Oh, so do you like going to to swim into the sea? And she's like, of course I do. And I was like, I think you said you don't. I didn't say that, and because it's like and I'm like, oh shoot, it's kind of like you see, like it's like. Y ou were having a hangover, and then she was like, I told you I lived my whole life near the sea, and I'm like expert surfer. I'm like, boom, epic fail.

Host Tea 45:54

What happened to you? were just not focused?

Michael 45:56

Yeah, I was just like - you you don't keep, like you know. I guess She'll never see you again. But that's what, no, it didn't happen, yeah. And that's what would happen, of course, if you know if you're going out with many women and it just messes up your brain.

Host Tea 46:11

Yeah, so that's another question here. Nowadays, when you go on date, what's your frequency? Like every week, how many women do you go on a date with?

Michael 46:20

yeah, not many, because it's the, filtering now is very strong, right? So I can filter out my surely. I love that! I respect that! And it saves time to me.

Host Tea 46:30

Well, give me a number.

Michael 46:32

maybe like once a week.

Host Tea 46:34

Oh, that's so healthy. I like that. Oh, actually, I have a question.

Michael 46:41

Go ahead, yeah.

Host Tea 46:42

Before we ending, what is number one green flag for you?

Michael 46:46

Number one green flag.

Host Tea 46:48

Yeah, like you're like, oh, I like to see her again. She's cool.

Michael 46:51

She's there. I mean, she's present. Being a present in the moment, that's important.

Host Tea 46:57

That's also showed genuine, right?

Michael 46:59

You will see that everywhere. She's responsive, she'll be there on time, she's not looking at her phone, she's talking to you, she's not distracted, and like whatever. It's 40 minutes, it's one hour, it's 20 minutes. She'll be there for that time. You have like a good eye contact with with her.

Host Tea 47:15

So, I see you thought through a lot of things, and you're like super emotionally available and super like emotionally mature. I'm totally surprised with the conversation we had today. Thank you, yeah. Yeah, with everything I've learned about you. Yeah, sort of question.

Michael 47:31

It was great to be here.

Host Tea 47:35

All right. What else do you have to say to our audience?

Michael 47:38

Well, I think yeah, just be brave, you know, be yourself, figure this out, and just just go on with life.

Host Tea 47:46

All right.

Michael 47:47

Not everyone matches everyone, so that's why.

Chemistry, Plans, And Fast Attachment

Host Tea 47:50

That's very true. Yeah. All right, thank you so much, Michael. Thank you. I'm so glad we did this. To all of you that is listening, I want to thank you for tuning in to this very first episode of the dating chit. It means so much to me. So, Russian guys, kind of tempting now, aren't they? Maybe it's time to expand your dating criteria just a little. Originally, I had a plan to launch our 'apply to date our single guest' feature for Michael with this episode. But life, as it often does surprise us. Just a few weeks after we recorded, I found out Michael had met someone new across the globe. And guess what? They're now traveling in Europe together. Bad news? One more intentional, successful, emotionally available man is off the market for now. When I asked him if we should still include the part of apply to date, he gave me a firm no. He's all in and wants to give his new connection his full attention. This level of focused energy is becoming so rare. It is attractive and is what builds a real future. I'm so thrilled for Michael and for her! Because that kind of intentional love is what we all hope for and deserve. If you enjoyed this conversation, hit subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who might need a little dating inspiration. If this episode brought you value, you're welcome to take me out for a virtual coffee at buymeacoffee.com/ thedating chit. It helps keep the mics on, and I truly appreciate the support. We also share short and fun content on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. I'd love to see you there too. If you or some amazing you know will be a great guest for this show, you can find the application link in the show notes. That's it for now. This is the dating chit and I'm Tea. Until next time, keep showing up, stay kind, stay curious, and never settle for less than the love you truly deserve.